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It begins — and ends — with a handshake

Norm Monsen

Norm Monsen is vice president of the agriculture division of Creative Business Services/CBS-Global, Green Bay, Wisconsin, and has worked for many years as a dairy economic development consultant. He contributes this column exclusively for Cheese Market News®.

I’m not writing this week about advanced dairy food technologies or complicated business practices or the importance of cash flow spreadsheets. I’m writing about one of the most underrated actions that many take for granted, but one that we all need to remember the importance it carries.

I’m talking about the handshake.

Growing up in a small farm community, I learned at an early age that when two people shook hands, it meant something important. My earliest memory is one day when Francis, the most respected and admired progressive farmer in our community, stopped by our farm to say hello. He got out of his truck and walked over to shake my father’s hand. And then he turned to me and shook mine. I didn’t know or understand then what that might mean, but I do know I felt recognized, and I felt important.

Looking back now, I can say that moment was a rite of passage. I would guess many who read this column can remember their first memorable handshake. Could it have been when you had the chance to shake the hand of a politician, a famous athlete, a musician or an actor? (And did you say, “I will never wash my hand again”?)

The world is a lot faster than it was the day I experienced my first handshake. We blur through days with ever-increasing speed. Business is conducted over Zoom, friendships are sustained via text and family gatherings are organized through social media. Heck, I read this week that the new social norm for placing a phone call to a friend, family member or work colleague is to first text that person and ask if now is a good time to call. I thought I was doing pretty good just to have a smart phone with all my contacts’ numbers organized alphabetically.

It seems that when we rush to gather as much information as we can in the quickest time possible, the information that is determined early on to not be important is quickly discarded. Case in point: You’re probably thinking right about now that you could stop reading this column because it seems a bit too basic or old fashioned.

Well, remember this: No matter your age or perceived status in life or business, I guarantee you there will be a time when an interaction is confirmed by a handshake, and I’m here to tell you to pay attention.

Although there are lots of writings and thoughts on the style of the handshake — how and when it originated, and why the handshake is perhaps falling out of favor — I offer the handshake still has two main categories, and two main meanings:

1. Friendship — A handshake with a friend (both old and new) serves to recognize, affirm, welcome, show interest, congratulate and even to share sadness.

2. Business — A handshake affirms with both parties that going forward, the work or transaction you are conducting is bound by a personal guarantee. In other words, your word is good when you shake another person’s hand.

We all know that different cultures and different settings have their own style or expectation of what a handshake means. The variety of the handshake is diverse. It can be strong and short, long and soft, maybe only with fingers, and even a double-handed grasp that is unique to the group or association. It is important to know and respect these expectations.

I also acknowledge that a handshake in business doesn’t replace or diminish the necessity and importance of a good and well-developed contract and appropriate counsel. The handshake can and should be looked at as the final seal to the deal.

And now, as you might expect if you’ve read a column of mine a time or two before, let me illustrate this with a story (or two).

The first comes from the world of dairy. About 15 years ago, a high-ranking delegation from Ethiopia traveled to Wisconsin to learn more about dairying in the United States. The delegation included progressive farmers, leaders of dairy processing companies in Ethiopia, university researchers and high-ranking government officials, including Ethiopia’s Secretary of Agriculture and the First Lady of the country.

The visit coincided with World Dairy Expo. Early on, guests in the delegation asked what they should expect and how should they act when meeting farmers and cheesemakers. We told them: “When you shake the hand of a farmer or cheesemaker, understand what is in that handshake. You will find honesty, loyalty, hard work and their personal welcome to you.” At every moment during the visit, both the Ethiopians and the Wisconsinites were honored that they were able to meet each other, and this action was solidified by a handshake.

The second story comes from outside of the dairy world, but I think gives a message about the importance of grasping another’s hand. Years ago, I was sitting in an airport early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

Sitting near me was a distinguished-looking man. I said hello and we got to visiting.

He told me he was a veteran. He said he had served in the U.S. Navy. And then he said that he had spent considerable time in Vietnam during that conflict. He went on to say that he has a son that served in the U.S. Army, and that both he and his son had served in Vietnam at the same time, but did not communicate or know where the other was, as due to security precautions.

In Vietnam, the veteran said he had commanded a high-speed PT boat. His mission revolved around patrolling the coastlines and rivers of the country. One day, his platoon received urgent orders to hightail it to an island upriver where a group of Army infantry were pinned down, taking heavy fire.

They sped the boat to the island, and the soldiers (under fire) waded and swam out to them, with those on the boat leaning over to grab and pull the soldiers on board. This gentleman finished this story by saying, “I reached down and grabbed a man’s hand, pulled him up on board, looked into his face — and saw he was my son.”

I thought about the power of that moment between those two men. And then I thought about why the man, a stranger, was telling me this story. I concluded that there is a special power and connection to be made with the “simple” act of grabbing another’s hand.

As each of us move through our days of social and business interactions, may we remember to pause and savor the handshakes we share with a new friend, an old friend, a new or longtime business partner. Let’s honor those moments and remember that we might shake hands with someone we never expected, and it might just change the course of our lives.

CMN

The views expressed by CMN’s guest columnists are their own opinions and do not necessarily reflect those of Cheese Market News®.

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